I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
