If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I want a musical about memes.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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