maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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