Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
