the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize