paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
