absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
