Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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