can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
