A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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