We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
