The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't deserve a penis
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
