so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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