Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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