She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
