i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
operation have a gay friend backfired
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
