wrigley field is MILF paradise
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
