I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
