i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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