It's like a parade of train wrecks.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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