the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
