At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Randomize
