I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
