apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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