Acid is not a monday night drug
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
