he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
