So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
