dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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