Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
