Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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