It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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