I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
