She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Houston, we have a blender
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
