google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
