I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
