WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
