Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
