Sry I called you an 8
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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