I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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