I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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