He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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