I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
