ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
