It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
