opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
