You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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