): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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