Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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