Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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