then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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