I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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