we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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