I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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