roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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