I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
