That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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