I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
